Pure Colour

I don't know how I found this book. I swear I saw it in the book thread with a description "this book was life changing" or something along those lines, but I combed through all of the threads and couldn't find it. This was the first book in a long while that I haven't finished, and that I'm honestly dropping despite how short it is. Usually I'm too curious to read the book to the end, to see if my opinion will change, so I suffer through the unlikeable parts - and I do end up liking the book. But this time, I just couldn't do it. Impossible. This book was pure drivel and I couldn't stand it. Philosophizing about utter bullshit. It's like if a horny 5th grader decided he wanted to be really deep so he put in a ton of really misplaced vulgar references to shock you but also theorized about the stupidest concepts we're already fully aware of. Except it's not a horny 5th grader, it's a rich gen x Canadian woman. Every positive review of this book, especially the descriptions on good reads and all the awards it won, are not descriptions at all. They don't tell you anything except how life changing and amazing and inquisitive and intelligent this book is. Because they can't tell you anything about it, there's nothing to tell. Omg I'm being so mean... But let me focus on one paragraph. So the main character's father dies (not really a spoiler, his death is what most of the book deals with kind of), and we get multiple paragraphs, no, chapters, talking about his spirit entering her body and using extremely sexual and suggestive metaphors such as ejaculate, penetration etc. Whatever, it's weird but whatever. But we get the following paragraph:

Later, walking in the garden out behind his house, another hour deep into the middle of the night, she knew that the universe had ejaculated his spirit into her—and was it still in her? What if, when she was shivering and chilled and her teeth were chattering, half an hour after it happened, it was because his spirit had suddenly left her? She will never know, and there is no authority on earth who can say what happened that night. It was happening on the spiritual plane—it was not a physical, psychological, or emotional phenomenon, so she will never understand.

You're shivering and chilled after you father's death you say? The father whom you loved very much? What is this weird physical, emotional or psychological phenomenon you say? You may never know? Hm? Could it be... sadness? Could it be... SHOCK???????? BECAUSE YOUR FATHER, WHOM YOU LOVED VERY MUCH, JUST DIED???? HM????? IT'S NOT SHOCK??? IT'S A MYSTERY YOU SAY????? HOW WEIRD AND STRANGE!!! WHAT A MYSTERIOUS FEELING???? WE MAY NEVER KNOW????????

Okay. I'm fine. I attached this image of Kim Kardashian because it most appropriately sums up my reaction during that part. And you know what I did? I powered through this. I powered through her talking about her dads spirit cumming into her very being (very deep, just like dick in vagina haha look I can do it too), and you know where it lead me to? Do you want to know? Well, it led me to her killing herself and her own spirit entering a leaf. A fucking leaf. And then inside that leaf she continued to talk about her father's spirit still being inside of her, while she was a leaf. MOST thunk provoking. And that's where I called it. No more. I never got so angry at a book before... Are we playing retarded? Is that it? Is that the point of this book? Well, I will never find out, and I don't care. I'm glad this book made me feel genuine rage because, it's good. It's productive, I mean, look at this rant!

I will admit I might have totally missed the point. Maybe if I read this last month, last year or next week and next month I would've liked it. Maybe it would've resonated with me. I usually don't like to shit on books excessively, and I can always conclude it with "I wasn't the intended audience". Like I can always see why something doesn't fit me and why someone else would like this better. Not here though. If I had to say something nice is that I liked how all over the place the story was, and it actually kept me wanting to read more, to a certain point.

One last insult, if I had to compare this book to something, it would be this tiktok with a title of "a night at a philosopher's salon" where a bunch of upper middle class larpers gather around books and candles in their little dark academia outfits to probably discuss the same topics in the way they're being discussed in that book. I'm so disrespectful today, I'm sorry to everyone reading this lmao.