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It feels like the Internet is experiencing mass psychosis in the last couple of months. I don't know how else to describe it, but everyone is losing their minds and it makes me not want to be here. I've more or less retreated from all social sources, I'm sorry to the few people I talked to regularly, I think of you daily, but I have so much noise in my head and everything being INSANE is only exacerbating it I only want to talk to people irl lmao. I should however, get back to writing more on here, because I like reading other people's diaries, and I like getting back to my writing every couple of years too. I do respond to e-mails every once in a while too.
I got my glasses sorted out during summer, my eyesight went to shit more than I expected sadly. My eyes are now at -2.25 and -2.5 respectively. Suxx!!! I also got my pupils dilated for the first time in my life, and walking back to the tram station was no joke. I could hardly see and I had to stick to the shadows, meanwhile I think I was coming back home at noon in mid July LMAO. Peak pain times. Next on the agenda is finally getting some proper furniture for the small apartment I've been living in. It's been a year since I moved in for realsies and with some permanency in mind, and yes I did jack shit for a year. The problem is with the furniture that came with the apartment - it's a tiny tiny place yet for some reason it came with about 10 chairs of various degrees of worth, from cheap plastic/metal ones to ikea lounge chairs. I threw away a random wooden one already because it BROKE while just existing. What could've the previous tenants been doing with this massive amount of chairs, I don't know. I have most of them stacked up in a corner next to my kitchen counter, where they mostly serve as bag holders/storage. But I began thinking of how miserable I feel in such an empty space for the first time in my life. I've never been a decor/nice interior obsessed type of person, and I always thought I could live in a hardly decorated single male style apartment (if its rented) until my husband and I get something of our own, but fuck it, I can't do it. I don't even have a sofa... Now that we started thinking of actually getting PCs, we'd need new desks. So we would have to shuffle stuff in our living room around. Meaning I'd get rid of the gazillion chairs. I'm hunting for loveseat sofas (because bigger ones wouldn't fit.. and we would have to get a crane service to get them in) on facebook marketplace, and maybe we will also get a TV then... I also listed some shit I don't need for sale, like this vertical steamer we bought on a whim because my husband got crazy coupons in a very specific store so we essentially got it for free. Used it three times in like three years LMAO. I long to chill and read in the same room my husband is in while he's on his PC or whatever. I hate going into the bedroom just to read because even the "comfy" chairs we have are kinda shite. Also the bedroom sucks because it has such small windows, it feels like a prison cell. The living room has massive, MASSIVE windows that light it up wonderfully. I'm also in need of some kind of extra wardrobe storage space, I have a few light jackets I need to place somewhere. Right now they're chilling on a random half wall that divides the corridor from our living room (very useless and it just makes the living room feel smaller). Just.. everything about my apartment makes me not want to invite anyone and I want to change it!!!
I also got a new tattoo, it's been almost a year since I got my last one! And it's at the same tattoo artist as well. I had such a wonderful experience last time, I couldn't not go again. She's a wonderfully skilled artist along with being a tattoo artist, and she's a whole head shorter than me. Tiny, wonderful person lmao. Despite me spending a whole year of casually scrolling instagram looking for tattoo artists near me (and I live in an area with lots of skilled tattoo artists) I couldn't find anyone that really suits my tastes as much as this woman does. Couple that with the fact that she spent the whole summer posting such banging patterns and crazy concepts I couldn't help myself. This is my biggest tattoo yet, it spans across my chest and goes down to my stomach, stopping at like 5cm above my bellybutton. I was prepared for my sternum to hurt, because I've always had a disproportionately bony sternum/chest and that area is supposedly very painful... but I didn't find it to be that painful at all. The outline of the whole tattoo was a breeze, but the filling required some clenched fists and teeth, especially the stomach area. At some point it felt like she was poking at my organs instead of my skin. I lasted a whole 3 hours and 20 minutes without my muscles twitching, but the last 15 minutes, which were spent on filling areas on the stomach felt like my muscles were twisting instead of just twitching, I've never felt that sensation while being tattooed before. My legs had some involuntary spasms, especially the calf muscle area, but nothing like this. The artist told me my skin is great and she's impressed I lasted that long without my muscles going crazy. Do you ever get complimented by people about something random and you feel like a pickme trying to impress someone? Because I've never felt more like a proud pickme in my life. Yes!! Choose me!! My skin is so great!!!
My language classes will resume in a month, and hopefully I'll only do two more months... I've stagnated during this summer, and I fear I lost some progress in speaking. I'm truly trying when I'm outside, and I try to go out daily and have some sort of a small interaction whether it just be something like buying groceries, but my tongue and brain are too slow. However, I can confidently say my reading is really good, and my listening is getting better. I also started watching some random comedy shows with my husband to try and improve my listening and it's been helping. I need to work on my vocabulary on anki more, and that would help me the most, but I know very well that's the thing I WON'T be doing.