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It's been a month since I posted anything in my diary and there's a few reasons for that.. First of all, I'm starting to feel weirdly exposed here when talking about things, I don't know why. I have a blog that's a bit more private where I've been talking about my life a bit, so I was thinking of revamping this website and focusing mostly on my weirdly messy, blogposty reviews. It's kind of in the works but I can't for the life of me decide how to make the site look like. I have so many graphics and pictures I'd like to use and they all have vastly different vibes...
Second reason is, I bought a little notebook and started writing in it! I really want to let my hands write physically again, because my handwriting is awful to say the least. It's funny, I mostly write about online things in my notebook, while my blog is for real life stuff.
And then there's also the fact that I'm kind of busy, while being stuck in my usual executive dysfunction mode. It's time to really admit to myself it's a problem, and the pandemic really helped in worsening that state. I'm trying to be productive, I'm even getting my health exam done for my driving license this week, after delaying it for so long. And today I'm seeing my mentor for my undergrad thesis. Yup, it's been 2 years and I still haven't finished it. It's ridiculous to think I wrote so many huge essays and seminars throughout my life, especially during uni, I can dish out 5000 word rants on anime and dress-up games in a matter of minutes but I'm stuck with a simple 25 page thesis on a topic that actually also interests me. Dear god.
So yeah, during periods like these I kind of shut down internally, and lose the desire to talk or write about my life - for myself. I feel embarrassed for myself in the future reading this lmao.