< Back to Archives

View original version on Neocities

23rd of September:

It's been quite a while since I last wrote in my diary, wtf. I've been "busy" writing anime/manga reviews and clearing my backlog. Sometimes I get really inspired like this, to just write about anything and everything I watch/read. Sometimes I can't form two sentences about something even if it was the best thing I've ever witnessed lol. Earlier this week, I attended my husbands graduation! He graduated more than a year ago but his university was holding it off for quite a while. It was quite an event, they had live performers. We arrived there last moment before the graduates picture was taken so we had to hurry to get the robes and stuff. After that I left my husband with his friends and went to find a seat somewhere. There was a popcorn machine near me, and the smell was so good... But I didn't bring my wallet with me so I had to suffer in silence. Definitely will be buying a popcorn maker soon, they're pretty cheap. Anyway, the whole ceremony lasted for way too long, I was nodding off during the speeches. It's not that interesting when you can't understand the language! They threw their caps, received their diplomas and we went off on our pizza hunt. A while ago we made the decision to try every pizza place in our near vicinity, because there's many. The one we tried this time was surprisingly cheap, but not outstanding in its taste. They're all made in electric ovens and out of thin dough with barely any crust, so they can never taste like the real thing of course. However the best one so far (from the non-chains) is the pizza place right next to our building. But it's a bit more expensive than the rest. The amount of cheese they use is perfect. Our toppings of choice are usually mushrooms and onions... The best chain available here is Papa Johns though. They don't exist in my country, so my first time trying it was here... it's pretty good actually. Dominos can't compare. Yesterday my husband took a day off so we were out all day. First we went to the embassy of my country to ask some questions. They were really unhelpful, sasuga my country. Then we ate lunch at an amazing small cafe/restaurant. This country is weird with it's distinction between cafes and restaurants tbh. Ah the food was great I'm still thinking about it. The rest of the day we spent near the sea and oh, we rode those stupid scooters for the first time. I actually kind of had a phobia of driving them, because I feel so unstable when accelerating. I tried them once before but never actually rode around for real. Anyway, we chose a good path to ride on and it wasn't so scary. It was pretty fun and enjoyable, but I still prefer bikes. I don't feel secure in traffic with these scooters at all, and turning/breaking with them takes some time getting used to. We befriended cats, pet some cats, fed some cats, and that about sums up our day. We had a mandatory stop at the mall full of alt kids. I saw a woman with massive hard fake breasts. These things are really rare to see in my country, but pretty common here it seems. I honestly can't comprehend why someone would do that to themselves. I mean I can, but it still feels unbelievable to witness irl. Today I enrolled into another year in my university... I'm still not done... I have two subjects left apparently. I'm losing my mind slowly. I hope this is it finally. I got fucked over so hard, and now I totally believe all those horror stories I heard online about my uni. It really is a place that entraps you forever, and nobody wants to help you.

7th of September: More weddings and cats

Nothing much happened these past two days. Oh I'm lying. I attended the wedding #2 on Sunday, it was my husband's close friends' wedding. The wedding was really really small, strictly just the family and us, and one more friend couple (I don't know them). Apparently the grooms dad didn't attend, but his parents have been separated since forever so it makes sense. His mom also seems a bit weird, as she didn't even want a celebration after the wedding, instead we just ate the cake people brought there and that's it. I'm bummed about it because at first it was supposed to be an outside barbeque, and then plans changed and we were supposed to go to a good barbeque meat place but it fell through. What kind of family doesn't want to celebrate a wedding? I feel bad for him, as him and his now wife are a really cute couple, and they're both very good people. His uncle and grandpa were the stars of the evening though, both were really funny and lightened the mood up. Yesterday was the wedding #3 and I didn't go. Husband sent me pictures, it was extremely fancy. He arrived home around midnight, and he started talking about the food there. He also said they forced him to dance, so I'm glad I didn't attend, I hate dancing. While he was talking about the food, I got a big craving for beef suddenly, despite me hating it since March (? still don't know why). Yet today, I decided I wouldn't cook so I ordered a big portion of Gyoza with shrimp that I've been eyeing in this local Japanese restaurant. It truly was a big portion, as I'll have enough for dinner too. Today my husband had some kind of a fun-day at work, and they went to the seaside for the day. So the past few days I've been kind of alone, wanting to go outside but it's too hot. Wanting to work on my thesis but I'm too lazy. Instead I've been reading this book called Ametora: How Japan Saved American Style. I have about 100 pages left. Maybe I'll make an article about it because the subject matter is pretty interesting. One thing that I learned about, that I definitely wasn't expecting to learn about in a book about fashion was Nameneko...

4th of September: How did she end up there?

Yesterday, I got a random facebook notification and while I usually don't click on those, it was about my former best friend from elementary school so I figured I'll check out what she's up to. Pictures seemed to be from a bachelorette/bachelors party. A lot of flag waving. The group of people seemed pretty conservative/nationalistic/turbo-normie villagers that are very common in my country. They looked so boring. All of the men were fat, balding and ugly. I can imagine the exact type of music they'd play. It made me think, how the hell did she end up there? She used to be a very creative, expressive girl full of personality. She always had dreams of something bigger. She was very naive and childlike, she never expressed interest in men, not even in high school. Now she's in a relationship with some boring dude into BMW's lol... I wonder what changed her, what stifled her? Her older sister was similar to her yet she got married to a really cool dude and they travel all the time and seem to have a lot of fun. And I can't really judge her whole current life from a few pictures, but every time I see her tagged somewhere it's always this boring small town setting among boring 0 personality people that have no interests in anything. I don't think of myself to be better or superior, but I never meshed well with these types of people, and neither has she. Reminded me of Kim from Better Call Saul being stuck with those boring office workers lmao. It makes me think whether she regrets her choices, or maybe I'm just imagining myself in her shoes. Maybe she doesn't feel that way at all, and she's actually happy. But somehow I find it hard to believe, knowing what we used to talk about, what we used to bond over. All of that couldn't have just disappeared once our bond weakened could it? People change, but I feel like their essence always stays about the same. Whenever I bump into someone that I knew as a child, at their core - they seem like the same person they always were. Maybe better and improved, or aligning themselves with strange opinions and ideologies - but all those traits fall back into how they acted as a kid.